Ratio
by SiliHearts
Summary: Sometimes, his body just didn't cooperate with him. Sometimes, no matter who he was trained by, adopted by, Robin still couldn't take it all. He got it enough from people at school, but he didn't think Wally would start too. Rating may go up.
1. Prologue

**Title:** Ratio - Prologue

**Characters:** Kid Flash/Wally West, Robin/Dick Grayson

**Rating:** K - This chapter. Ratings will go up due to the graphic nature of eating disorders.

**Word Count: **663

**Warnings:** Eating Disorders.

**Author's Beginning Notes ||** º Written because I don't think people who starve themselves, or binge then regurgitate, understand what it's doing to their body and the people around them

º Wally's emotions will be reflecting my own, and how I felt as a friend who tried to help.

º This _will_ eventually be at least lightlight_light_ KF/Robin

xx

_Something wasn't right,_ Wally's face contorted with a strange expression as he watched his best friend work the uneven bars in the gym of The Cave. There was something off…something off about Robin. And that worried him. Because nothing was _ever_ off with Robin; he was trained by The Goddamn Batman. Yet, he couldn't help but notice, as much as he didn't want to admit it, that there was indeed something wrong with Robin. With Dick Grayson. With his best friend.

Green eyes followed the figure carefully, watching as the nimble body flew between the two supports, form twisting and folding around each resilient bar. There was this moment when he could have smiled in awe. A moment when he could have just sat there and admired his friend's beautiful form. The way he stretched, his back arched smoothly and so perfectly. Everything about the boy captivated him so.

However, the moment the younger touched down, he felt the breath leave his lungs.

Robin's body seemed to crunch together upon landing. His knees folded under the weight of impact and as he tried to spring back up, his body fell back. Thus, before either of them knew it, he was already down there, holding the younger up, arms locked around his waist and trying not to squeeze too hard.

The Speedster felt a horrible twist of his innards and clench of his heart when he realized that yes…those were indeed the little bird's ribs he could feel, digging into his wrists.

"**Hey, you all right?**"

He did his best to will his voice not to crack as he felt the prominent hip bones jutting into his arms, digging into his flesh, despite the fact he had two different layers on. It hurt. The degree at which his stomach was coiling.

In his arms, safe [he told himself], the smaller body twists around, trying to regain balance…trying not to fall even further as he keeps a tight hold on the acrobat. There's a dead silence between them and the normally upbeat redhead can't help but feel as if there is something pushing them away, even if the hands gripping him seem to be keeping them.

Thoughts raced through his mind at miles per second, desperately searching for an answer. To what, Wally wasn't really sure…but it was something he needed.

He wasn't even really sure how it started. If there had really been a starting point.

All Wally West knew…was that _it_ started, and the results of…whatever _it_ was…hadn't turned out well. Not well at all.

Robin wouldn't look at him. Even as he was relaxed against his arms, the gymnast refused to make eye contact. A hand curls around his wrist, and this time, the redhead refuses to cry. The fingers wrapping up against his very frame were like that of a skeleton's…and he can't stand it. He can't stand knowing that there was something possibly very wrong with the boy he had been friends with for the longest time.

"**…you lost weight**"

This time in an attempt to start small talk.

It garners reaction.

The masked lenses turn towards him and the way the younger looks, wide eyed with lips carefully curled upwards, Wally gauges that the other is…surprised? Happy? Pleased…?

"**…you think so?**"

_Yeah…_

But he could only nod dumbly, going into some sort of silent shock.

"**Do you like it…?**"

_No. No I don't. What are you doing? What's happening to you? Why are you doing this? What's going on?_

"**..y-yeah…**"

Why was he lying..? Why couldn't he tell the other how he really felt?

The small tug on the younger's lips, curing into a smile…it made Wally almost want to smile back. It almost reassured him that he was just imagining things. He was overreacting.

Yet, all resolve for this crumbled; self-lulled reality - shattered when Boy Wonder's words registered in his mind.

"**I did it for you.**"

xx

**Author's End Notes || **º Next installments will be longer. This is to set the scene.

º I will try and update on a regular basis…hopefully once a week at least.

º **Reviews.** I don't normally mind too much…but I think I'll need as much help I can get [aside from personal events] portraying the effect anyone _with_ a disorder and anyone _witnessing_ it in the progress. It is not pretty.

º Feel free to PM me.

Thank you || Sili


	2. I

**Title:** Ratio - I

**Characters:** Kid Flash/Wally West, Robin/Dick Grayson

**Rating:** K+ - This chapter. Ratings will go up due to the graphic nature of eating disorders.

**Word Count: **3110

**Warnings:** Eating Disorders. Mentions of regurgitation

**Author's Beginning Notes ||** º Sorry for the immense delay. Things happened. Settled down, thankfully.

xx

_It didn't just start. There was indeed something that triggered this. _

_**This**__. _

_This was something different than just your average teenaged crisis. _

_No._

_**This**__ was a problem even Boy Wonder knew he couldn't get out of on his own. _

_Yet, no matter how much he told himself that what he was doing was sad...and pathetic...and weak...he couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop because the people at school wouldn't stop it either. The way people looked at him in the halls didn't change. They never changed._

_Ever since the first day. Even since the day he was adopted by Bruce Wayne, playboy billionaire of Gotham, as a charity case and enrolled into Gotham Academy…the looks never went away. No matter how good looking he was. No matter how honestly humble Richard Grayson-Wayne was, people would forever treat him differently._

_Because he would forever be who and what he was._

_A circus-freak; a commoner; an outsider._

_And no amount of money would change that at any given moment._

_He was different not only in personality, background, upraising, but figure. While other boys at his ripe age of 13 possessed prominent and thin bodies, Dick wasn't the only one to notice how he was just a little curvier. How his hips seemed to protrude at just a slightly wider angle. It was the way he developed. The way his body stayed small, from how he started gymnastics at an early age. The way his spine allowed him to curve into the oddest figures._

_Eyes were constantly on him. Whether good, bad, or the neutral. He knew. He could sense them._

_The young acrobat could sense the way gazes bore into his body. Be it the back of his head, his body, or even his limbs. Green, brown, hazel, grey...colors bled through the cloth of his uniform and under his skin. They burned deep into him as they judged him in silence. Judged him for being different. For being __**unique**__._

_That was what Alfred called him._

_He appreciated how the old man tried to help...but he told himself it was in vain. Saying he was unique was just another way of telling him he was strange._

_Not that he was accusing Alfred of calling him names. Never. He knew that whatever the British man had to say, whether or not it had a negative connotation or not, it was always a compliment. Despite his usually never changing tone, there were times the older man was always there to make his day so much better, even if it was just saying a couple of words. A couple of words that would forever mean nothing to anyone else._

_'Strange child', he remembers the faithful butler saying with a small smile; his lips had curled upwards just slightly, nearly inconspicuous, while handing him a mug of hot cocoa and a shortbread cookie after training. _

_But now..._

_He lets slip a wry smile as he stares at his body in the mirror. It looks disgusting...the way his body curves...the way there's ample amounts of supple flesh spread over his hips, giving him a defined waist and defined thighs._

_As an acrobat, Dick knew that he had a well toned figure. He knew that many people admired 'dat ass' - as Wally so bluntly pointed out to him - of his. His legs were shapely, yes...and they had definitely been put to use during missions before. Specifically, undercover missions. Because apparently having the young male cross-dress as a girl was the best way to solve and help him solve his self-esteem issues. The way Wally leered at him while he wore a skirt didn't exactly contribute to this either… The way the redhead would stare at him from time to time…_

_And every time he asked why his best friend was gazing at him…every time Wally would just let out a soft laugh and grin that mischievous grin._

_"Sorry…you're just really pretty," he'd say._

_**Pretty**__. He was _pretty_._

_He knew it was one of the silliest things to get upset over. But hearing it from the speedster somehow made that comment several folds worse…and a lot more hurtful._

_'Pretty boy.'_

_'Curvy~'_

_'Like a girl.'_

_All of it. All of it hurt. And no one could understand how he felt…no one would get why he was doing this._

_Glaring at his reflection angrily, the male didn't need to think twice before downing two small pills with a single gulp. _

_Mere moments later, he feels the contents of his stomach emptying out._

xx

There were many things Wallace 'Wally' Rudolph West prided himself for. One, amongst the many, was his naturally good looks. Who could resist a tall, lean, redhead with a charming smile? Did he mention he had freckles and green eyes? Come on. Those were perhaps the most killer of combinations - maybe next to dark hair and blue eyes. With his good-natured personality and friendly demeanor - save with Artemis…that woman just got on all kinds of his nerves - it was hard _not_ to like him. Sure he could get on nerves real easy-like. But that was all fun and games!

During a particularly harsh mission or during a particularly tiring, stress ridden, post-mission atmosphere, it was easier to focus all of the remainder of your energy into one person rather than everyone else. To be united against one with the same cause sort of relaxed everyone at times. Honestly, if he just made a stupid comment, suddenly everyone seemed to remember that yes, he was still there and yes, he was still being obnoxious as ever. In a way, he helped team cope…it helped them recover…even if it did mean needing to endure a reproachful look from their great and fearless leader - he meant Aqualad of course.

Also, _very_ contrary to popular belief, even, the speedster was actually really sensitive towards his teammates.. He actually _worried_ about them constantly, even though he was admittedly brash in his actions at times. Yet, next to Robin, he was probably the easiest to throw around and break. That was what his super fast healing abilities thanks to a fast metabolism was for, though.

A while ago, Artemis had even chewed him out for being 'overbearing' towards M'gann with his constant flirting. Of course, his natural response was to involve the martian but shooting out an almost reflex-like '_You don't mind though, do you, Meg-alicious?_'

At that comment, if the green skinned girl - bless her heart - hadn't giggled and nodded innocently, the blonde probably would have slapped him right then and there. But she did…and thus rendered Artemis' argument _invalid_. By now, Aqualad, Kaldur, was giving him a look as well. _Unlike_ their archer, however, he seemed to be more understanding of his actions…and Wally couldn't help but think that their great and fearless leader was just…well…great and fearless, but also rather all-knowing.

Moments ago, before Artemis had pulled him aside to chastise him, Superboy had just had another one of his mini tantrums. This included him practically blowing up in M'gann's face when she asked if he wanted to help her out in the kitchen [which he normally did]. It had been left on a sour note; the clone ended up storming out of The Cave, their own little empathic telepath alone in the kitchen. Instantly, he, Kid Flash was next to her; shooting his cheesy flirtatious lines and complimenting her, telling the female she could cook for him instead.

To anyone else, it would have seemed like he was trying to catch a girl on rebound. In a way, this was true. He was trying to catch M'gann, their normally blissfully happy ray of sunshine, before she fell too hard. His ruthless flirting and never relenting comments was his way of making her feel special; making her feel wanted, unlike Superboy. Now, he wasn't trying to make the clone out to be a bad guy, because he wasn't. Conner was blunt; harsh in words; sometimes a little expressive; and even cold at times. At the same time, though, he was very sensitive; curious like a child; and over all protective. It wasn't his fault he was raised to be a living weapon, not a functioning, socially adept teenager with the body of a Sex-God.

So when Artemis had called him, Wally West, an insensitive jerk…she had been more than sorely mistaken. And to be frank, he was _extremely_ trustworthy. Just ask Boy Wonder, or should he say Richard Grayson?

Right here and right now, let it be known.

Despite his never ending list of wonderful personality traits, there was only one thing that Wallace Rudolph West prided himself in the very most.

And that was?

_That_ was being the best friend of a certain Boy Wonder.

...

A certain Boy Wonder whom, as of late...had been avoiding him like the plague.

_Well_, he contemplates, perhaps it wasn't as bad as the plague. It was more like…say, the common cold. Or even head lice.

…

Okay, never mind. Not going there. We'll stay with the common cold. It was contagious but not to the point that it would infest you. After all…sometimes, you got over it quickly. That was the way things were between himself and Dick at the moment. He was being avoided and sometimes ignored…but in a subtle, inconspicuous way so that anyone else aside from himself, Wally West, could tell.

He isn't all too entirely sure what was going on. But the way Robin had been acting around him lately is just so…well…strange. The normally hyperactive acrobat was usually first to greet him and first to challenge him to some sort of activity. He and the younger were constantly together, be it playing video games or watching movies, hell, even just talking. At first, he figured the poor kid was just tired; he knew being trained by The Batman was anything but a walk in the park. Something else was bugging him too, though. Something that had nothing to Batman. Now, others might not have realized it…but the others weren't as close to Robin as he was. It was the fact that over the course of time…Dick started ignoring him more and more.

The way that he was being ignored, Wally decides, is somewhat of an art. It wasn't a downright avoidance…it was more of a casual, 'hey', but in a tone the younger _knew_ he'd pick up on that actually meant 'I'm not feeling too great'. And of course, _because_ he knew…he was always the one to suggest Boy Wonder go and lie down to rest. After all, he was an awesome friend and well…he thought the little bird looked absolutely precious when he was curled up in bed, up against his pillow.

Running a hand through his hair with pursed lips and a somewhat contorted expression of worry appeared. He let out a soft sigh and cast a glance over at the couch. The mission had been harsh…it had been extremely challenging; testing the whole team on just how well they worked together, let alone functioned efficiently **and** effectively. For the most part…it turned out well enough…save for the part when everyone realized that their youngest, most flexible and agile teammate had begun tripping…over his own two feet. No. That wasn't particularly Robin-like in any shape or form.

He let out another soft sigh and sauntered over to where he had lay down their precious little bird. Green eyes scanned over the still uniform-clad boy on the living room couch. Exactly 17 minutes and something seconds ago, he had been the one to lay him down to rest there. The blankets he used to wrap the boy up were still snuggly fit around his slim body. Taking a seat beside the brunette carefully, as not to startle him, Wally smoothed his hand over the other's face, brushing bangs out of those covered blue eyes he had had the privilege to see.

Letting his hand stay on the boy's head, he began absently stroking at surprisingly soft hair.

"…what's up, dude? You're worrying me," he finally managed to find his voice and speak up, thumb rubbing along the temple soothingly.

No answer came.

Silence was closing in on them. The other teen heroes had decided to go out for dinner and a fun night after such a tiring and stressful mission. However, he volunteered himself to stay behind and keep an eye out on their youngest. Robin was _his_ best friend, after all. His heart thumped particularly loud at that thought and a weak smile crawled over his lips. Yeah, his best friend. Like an extremely annoying little brother at times.

Suddenly, he was so much more aware of the pounding in his ears and the ringing sound that silence brought. He couldn't help himself, reaching out to brush back at Robin's bangs once more, he uncovered more of the mask the younger wore. His features had grown so much sharper…it was strange. The redhead had grown so accustomed to the slightly round and slightly baby, but all around pretty, face of Bruce Wayne's ward…of Boy Wonder. Even if he was the only one to notice how beautifully the brunette developed.

The speedster lets out a soft sigh and flutters his eyes closed, leaning back against the couch, now listening to their bird'd breathing…soft, soft, gentle breathing.

At the moment, he couldn't help but recall what had happened. Everything had been tumbling down from there. There, being what had happened barely over 2 hours ago.

xx

_Debriefing went as usual. The Batman appeared and decided that they weren't really doing anything so assigning the team a job wouldn't be a bad idea._

_Okay…well…maybe that was _exactly_ how things went, but that's just how he liked to see it, not that he was complaining._

_Their mission was fairly simple. A drug trade was going to be happening soon and shipments were being prepared at the dockside warehouses. They were to __**covertly**__ mess it up, to put it simply. It was just to screw up the shipment and not necessarily take out every single crook. Normally, they'd probably be told to just take everyone out and report it in to the police, but, seeing as the League suspected possible Blockbuster formula at play, they were only to be as careful and quick as possible._

_When the meeting was over, they were given the time of departure, leaving the team of six with a healthy hour and a half to get ready and make sure they were full. Batman had warned them that they would be staking out for at least a good 45 minutes or so._

_Ordering pizza was a damn good idea. It gave them time to work everything out and have time to just relax a bit after training._

_For the most part, their make shift dinner was a disaster in the most amazing way. As he and Artemis argued over the last piece Robin swept past them and all but shoved the slice into his mouth. _

_Smirking where he stood, Boy Wonder just strut off to get suited up._

_No one seemed to notice the way Robin looks as if he was going to be sick._

_Perhaps that was a bad thing…_

_xx_

_"Robin!" _

_He called the name out as a reflex, eyes wide behind red tinted goggles. His body moved on its own, thank goodness, and before their smallest teammate could answer, or even make any sound of panic from falling, he had launched himself towards the youngest member, enveloping the brunette in long limbs and a soft landing cushion._

_Wally could feel the other shuddering in his hold. It probably wasn't everyday Robin found himself _falling_, after all. Nevertheless, he cradled the other comfortingly, much like the best friend he was, reassuring the other that everything would be all right. _

_He was there. _

_He'd always catch him._

_**Always**_

_"H-hey…" finally came his shaky voice eyeing the bird neatly folded in his arms. "You all right, dude…?"_

_There was an uncomfortable silence for the most part and his stomach twisted into all sorts of knots. The younger wouldn't so much as look at him for the moment. All he did was turn his head away from the direction of his own freckled face and nod rather hesitantly…or awkwardly. Then, he was already crawling out of his arms by the next moment._

_"Yeah, man. Asterous," he flashed an extremely fake smile at him and turned his back on him._

_A visible frown crossed his lips and the older hero tried to take in everything had just happened. He tried to ignore the strange pulsing sensation in various parts of his body where a particularly sharp and pointy Boy Wonder had just removed himself from. His biceps and chest, particularly, seemed to remember just how oddly thin the boy, previously in their protective grasp, was._

_Watching as the brunette pulled his cape around his shoulders again, Wally just ran a hand through his hair absently, following in suit. Well, he followed up until one of those stupid thugs rose up from his well-deserved place on the ground. Furrowing his brows together, he darted over just as he attempted at swiping Robin over the head with a painfully large piece of splintered floorboard._

_Two strikes and man was down with a painful kick in the side and punch in the face._

_Not bothering to listen to his best friend's protests at the moment, Wally simply scooped up the bird into his arms, bundling him up in his own cape._

_"No." His voice was firm and stubborn as he noted the younger's lips part to say something. "You __**will **__let me carry you until we get back to The Cave," he scowled, securing his grasp around the thin body in his arms once more._

_xx_

That was when he had begun worrying. A lot. And now, studying the ever so distorted features of an ever familiar figure made his teeth grind together and hands curl into uncomfortable fists. What was going on with the kid that he seemed to be skipping meals and apparently lose sleep?

He sat up a little straighter, hand quickly pulling away when Robin shifted a little.

The hand returned to stroking at the hair, however, when he noticed that the small body had actually moved _closer_ to him. Unable to help a relieved smile from curling onto his lips, the redhead just let out a soft breath before inhaling deeply and exhaling calmly.

' _It would be all right_,'

he decides after a few more moments just sitting here with the boy,

' _Everything will be all right. _'

xx

****Author's End Notes || ****º Installments will now be once a month.**  
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